The definitive Movember appeal, courtesy of Ron Burgundy

Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen.

I’m back, and I’m doing Movember!

Hey, world! Did you miss me? I know you did. Heck, I miss myself and I see me every day. And, damn, do I look good. I mean, really good.

I’m talking slap yourself in the face good. Undress yourself with your eyes good. Think of yourself under the covers good. Yes, ma’am, I look that good.

What’s my secret? Well, I’m glad I asked me for you. Some say it’s my impeccable taste in polyester suits that subtly scream ‘classy gentleman of leisure’. Others say it’s simply down to my parents’ genetic engineering. You and I both know it’s my mane of hair right down here that the ladies love.

That’s right: my moustache, Little Ron.

Little Ron and I have had many glorious adventures over the years, from late night rides with Veronica around the city to all you can eat buffets at Champs gentleman’s club. Now, after all the good that Little Ron has done for me, I’m doing some good for him.

This Movember, I’m making sure Little Ron stays full and healthy by raising money for him and other fine moustaches of the world.

So, I'm going to put something out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want your money. I want it to be on my Movember page, because it’s kind of a big deal.